HOW TO BE RESILIENT
We all take on life’s pressures but we don’t all handle them the same. Some of us are able to quickly bounce back after struggling or going through hard times; while others find themselves in a panic, upset, or feeling out of control of their situation.
Being resilient means being able to effectively withstand or handle the adversities that you face.
By learning to be resilient or more so, you allow yourself to recover from the difficult situations you may face.
My Quick Story
This past Christmas my fiancé and I lost everything in an apartment fire that destroyed 40 of the 123 units in our building. Although this is an extremely devastating circumstance my fiancé and I have found ourselves to be in high spirits every day following.
We continue to smile through the frustrations of retrieving our important documents such as our license, birth certificates, and cards. We also keep joking with one another that this is the “fresh start” we were praying for.
Despite losing everything we realize that tragedy leaves room to grow and evaluate those things near and dear to us. We were safe, our bunnies were safe, and we have had an overwhelming amount of support from family, friends and coworkers.
Three years ago I would not have been able to remain resilient in such a situation.
In 2016 I was at one of my lowest points and anything uncomfortable left me anxious and depressed. By working on myself constantly and remaining dedicated to my self-development journey, I have learned how to overcome tough circumstances and push forth with a positive attitude.
Adopt A Growth Mindset
Those who are plagued by the fear of change have the most difficult time finding resiliency in their daily life. If you learn to reshape your thinking you can more effectively tackle your problem as you embrace the challenges you encounter. You can do this by:
Trying to solve you issue in a different manner
Change your language from negative connotations to positive when assessing the issue
Ex: Instead of saying you can’t figure something out, you can instead say that you acknowledge this situation is difficult but you will find a solution
Be open to embracing imperfection in the situations and see those as challenges rather than obstacles
Remain Positive
When going through a tough time it becomes very easy to find yourself in the world of a Negative Nancy.
Rather than taking on a pessimistic attitude, allow yourself to be optimistic about how the situation may turn out. It is much easier to overcome a situation if you do not dwell on the negative pieces of it.
If you have trouble keeping a positive mind try to incorporate deep breathing techniques. The rhythm of deep breathing is associated with happiness and relaxation. The Harvard School of Medicine recommends practicing Breath Focus to help you concentrate on your slow and deep breaths to disengage you from your surrounding environment and emotions. You can do this a few minutes a day by:
Finding a quiet place to sit comfortably
Breathe in slowly through your nose and pay attention to how it fills your chest and expands your abdomen
Then breathe out slowly through your mouth and notice how the air feels as it brushes your lips
Repeat that a few times until you feel relaxed
As you get more comfortable with this begin to pay attention to the thoughts that enter your mind
Do not fight them, allow them to flow and simply acknowledge them
Repeat as needed
Avoid Playing Victim
If we are not used to a resilient mindset it becomes easy for us to fool ourselves into thinking our problems are due to unfortunate circumstances, a lack of luck, or just the way life HAS to be.
Playing victim does nothing but help you solidify your negative thoughts when instead you should be focused on empowering yourself.
Being resilient is all about the Bounce Back! Rather than wallowing in your self-pity. Take time to remind yourself why you are so awesome and why you can conquer any challenge that confronts you. You can do this by:
Incorporating self-love affirmations into your daily routine
Finding time to acknowledge your accomplishments at least once a day
Focusing on your strengths more and building them to be even better
Reminding yourself that you are in control of your path and you shape it by your outlook
Laugh It Off
Some issues are so crazy you just have to laugh them off. Not in the creepy I’m-not-sure-if-I-am-crying-or-slowly-going-mad kind of way, but more so in the life-is-so-funny kind of way.
I remember one time I was stressed out about taking a test for my nutrition class. My plane was delayed and I wasn’t expected to make it back until an hour before class started. Add to that that it was winter in Michigan and there was a snow storm the night before, and the airport was exactly an hour away from my school. I frantically sent my professor an email before boarding our plane and prayed she would let me take the test at a later date. Low and behold once off the plane I read in her response that our test was not until the week after. I was so stressed for hours before getting off the plane that the only thing I could do was laugh. I was working myself up for nothing!
Had I not been one for resiliency I may have dwelled on the stress I had been building those hours before.
That would have led to more negativity when instead I could be appreciative to having even more time to prepare.
Acknowledge But Don’t Accept
It is really important to be aware of the difficulties we face, however, it is not so good to take them on and keep them as being the definition of ourselves.
The challenges you face help shape your future but they do not define what your future looks like.
An article from John Hopkins School of Medicine discusses that an important component of resiliency includes accepting change as a piece of life, and also taking action on the problems you face rather than hoping they resolve themselves. Being able to do this allows you to adapt to stress better and cope with negative situations you may face.
All in all, being resilient is about overcoming the challenges that face you, and the tips above can certainly assist in you doing so.
Remember to keep an open mind to situations you encounter, have a bit of humor, take charge of your difficulties, and be mindful that you are the organizer of your destiny.
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